Feel like somethings missing?

I have two baby girls, 3 in January and a 1.5 years old. They are the light of our lives! My most favorite part of the weekend is when they all jump into bed with us. I just look at them at disbelief that they are ours and we made them. Still blows my mind that we actually made them, i mean all i can say is miraculous.  That leads me to the actual reason of this blog posting.

I have noticed the last few weeks as they have jumped into bed that i am missing my 3rd, 4th, 5th child? I have this tugging at my heart that someone is missing and i feel like i am actually missing them. We are planning on have more children for sure. Olivia and Whitney came 16.5 months apart and that was really hard, so having another baby quickly was not on our agenda. But now that Whitney is 1.5 i feels like it's a natural progression to have baby number 3.

We just bought our first house and are closing on the 21st, we are going on two vacations before July and one of them is for a week, childless. I thought once we are moved in and vacation #2 in RI is over we can jump into baby making mode again. I have a feeling though my plans are not the same as Gods and he is going to give us another baby whenever he wants.

I do love thinking about it all though. The excitement of finding out, the awful sickness i get for the first 3 months (lets be honest, i never look forward to this), finding out the gender, naming the baby and then finally the big finale, delivery! I know most people HATE this part of birth, but i LOVE it. It makes me feel strong and empowered. It's truly amazing.

Quick side story: I ran into a women at work a few weeks ago and she was 3 days late. She was a first time mom and she was adorable. She was very scared and i probably talked to her for 30 minutes about how amazing it is, how empowering it is and what an amazing job she will do. She came back in two nights ago and told me how amazing it was and how she thought about me and how i empowered her. What??? I empowered someone by just expressing the love i have for childbirth. There truly is not a better compliment then that. I felt connected to her and I hardly knew her. My pre natal yoga instructor and best friend Dana did this for me. I was so happy to pass it on:)

So..... As I sit here writing this blog Brad is chasing the girls around the house in there pj's (Somewhere over the rainbow is playing on my computer), the baby has lost her shirt along the way, everyones laughing, screaming and the dogs are right behind them. It's amazing and i simply can't wait for the rest of our clan to join this beautiful world.

Do any of you ladies ever have the tugging at your heart? Would love to hear your thoughts....